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What happens on a metal and emotional level has it's affect on the physical, let go of your negative experiences turning them to compost and give life to the appreciation and wisdom they will give you.
I came across an interesting study recently lead by a woman called Xue Zheung, she had 3 test groups, one in which she induced forgiveness, one in which she left ruminating on an unforgiven act and a neutral group just pondering on a recent interaction. She found in proceeding tests that the forgiving group and the neutral group could jump higher and found hills less steep than the ruminating group. This leads to an interesting thought experiment in how dense emotions such as resentment, hatred, and anger can actually weigh us down and hold us back physically and mentally.
We may from time to time find ourselves in the ruminating group using our life force energy to replay events, imagining all the 'should haves dones', 'should have saids', 'if onlys' and even cursing the people that've wronged us, we may not even be fully conscious to the amount of time and energy we are lending these thought patterns, but we can all tell how the ego loves to be right and needs to be separate from our villains in order to sustain itself. But let's take a moment to forgive ourselves for being so self centred because this ego serves a very divine purpose that is our individual experience that can protect us with it's reminders for just and fair treatment in the future.
When asked whilst contemplating this article would I go back and change some things I did in the past, it didn't take me to long to think of a few mistakes that I could have avoided and wished that I did, but then asked if I could erase the lessons I learned from those mistakes, would I? Aha, I found myself caught in a paradox wanting the lessons but not the hardship involved, and was reminded that everything happens for a reason. These experiences occurring in our lives provide opportunity to heal emotional and mental aspects of ourselves that are like untended wounds, and when given attention can transmute into feelings of peace and freedom, unshackled from the burden of bearing a grudge.
The tough lessons can fuel our sense of gratitude which comes with a shift in perspective when we see that adverse people and situations lead us to realise what is wanted in contrast to what is unwanted. This is essentially stepping into a place of power when we are served by experiences that make us who we are,
having shed any sense of self pity, a feeling incompatible with gratitude.
But “life is a balance of holding on and letting go”, as Rumi observed, and forgiveness cannot be forced, so how to induce this feeling? Firstly, the genuine willingness needs to be there, we are not doing this because it's what 'good people' do, we are doing this to shed the discordant layers that weigh on our
highest and best selves, it is a practise and a process so start by choosing the people and situations that are easiest to forgive first. Secondly take yourself to what it is that needs to be forgiven, there is a lot of debate around whether self or assisted therapy as this is necessary as a lot of people fear it can cause the person to become retraumatised by the memory of these events, so at your own will and with absolute caution, rest with these emotions which may venture into rage for 5 minutes, often it is the suppression of these unpleasant emotions which cause us to become stuck so the idea here is to let them flow through you, this can even be done writing out the wrongdoing onto a page, which you can even burn afterwards.
Third phase is to look for understanding using all of your empathy, why did you or this other person do what they did, what was their motive, if you were them with all of their life experience and world view is it possible you would have done the same? It is important to remember here that 'hurt people hurt people', happy people who know that they are interconnected and are responsible for their own reality don't intentionally harm others, so this is the time to practise compassion for people who are actually victims of their own past experiences. Whether it is with knowledge or imagination you can envision them as a child under the age of 7 (when most of our earliest wounds happen and patterns of behaviour form), and ask 'what is it like to be you?' You may find yourself receiving some insight that allows you to release the resistance you have to your opposition, seeing that they have suffered and now you have the opportunity to break the cycle. Lastly, in your imagination or even physically, tell this person you forgive them, and with your heart open, embrace them and bless them with the hope that they receive everything they need and the lives that they truly want.
I am a firm believer that the ripples become the crashing waves, so my hope is that when we make forgiveness a part of our daily lives resolving conflict as it arises within us, recognising our unmet needs or overstepped boundaries, we can see a reflection of peace in the world that is attracted towards us.
Releasing the negative vibrations that imprint on our energy field and replacing them with trust and gratitude can only logically feel lighter, but it is in the practise that we can see the results, and yes that means on the scale too!
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